Friday, October 24, 2008

Is All This Water Symbolic Somehow?

Son: Yonah was a big tzadik, he washed negelwasser all day long.
Am positive Son's rebbe is sane person and would not tell children that Yonah had OCD or that OCD required for tzidkus. (Although quite see how 3-day sojourn in Fish stomach could induce compulsive Washing, not to mention Claustrophobia. Recall no medrash to this effect.)

Daughter came home today with wild tale of school bathrooms Flooding progressively from first floor to fourth, with subsequent spillover into elevator shaft and classrooms, resulting in Girls standing on their Desks and Screaming. Daughter further alleged that the stairs Broke and when you went Outside, you could see the Water spouting out of the Roof. Am sure I have seen a Movie like this. (Query: Day After Tomorrow? Or, perhaps, one of the Die Hards?) In any event, have not received phone call from School; thus, must conclude that that Building not entirely demolished and tomorrow's Sessions shall proceed as usual.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I Get Old, and Other Gloomy Observations

Upon awaking on Erev Rosh Hashana, found myself afflicted by most unpleasant virus. Shall refrain from providing details, as must keep in mind that not many people find descriptions of Diseases and their symptoms either Interesting or Tasteful. Food preparation conducted in muzzy haze, with heartfelt prayer for getting things Right and avoiding solecisms such as leaving Flour out of Cake (this happened to me when I was Sixteen, which only served to confirm my opinion that there were Better things for me do do).

Managed to stay upright and Awake until arrival of Guests; retained a semblance of Coherency through the Simanim, though had to invoke Husband's aid in determining exact composition thereof. Subsequently, retired to couch and slept, regaining consciousness only to tell Husband that There are Potatoes in the Pot and Just Dump the Veal on a Plate. Felt deeply that the less I heard about Food, the better for all present.

Spent rest of holiday avoiding food. Ironically, recover in time for today's Fast, which also coincides with my secular birthday. Cannot help seeing this, together with sundry other Occurrences as unauspicious beginning for new year. Forlorn hope is that G-d is getting the nasty stuff out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of year in peace; am, however, not disposed to Count on any such thing, especially as am aware that everything could always be Much Worse. For Instance, already feel Cold coming on.

Am now Twenty-Nine. For reasons unfathomable to self, reflection that, were I still single, I would by now be an Old Maid, induces Feeling of Gloom. Am constrained to ask, Does it make me a Better Person that contemplation of others' Woes fails to Cheer me in the slightest, or Does it just make me an Incurable Pessimist? Answer: very much fear, the latter.

But, you know, do have a good year, everyone.