Thursday, April 23, 2009

April Is the Cruelest Month

Am pleased to inform the Public of my continuing presence on this Earthly Plane.

Am, however, much less pleased to be informed by Daughter's school that I am expected to appear and sign in at yet another gathering concerning the Dangers of the Internet; am also informed via Green Note that I should not consider myself off the hook if I have attended similar gathering at Son's school, as Girls face considerably Different challenges than Boys. Concur with the last, as problems of sexism and misogyny do present Considerable challenges, but highly doubt that any undertaking by aforementioned school likely to ameliorate this.

Also wish closer venue than Boro Park had been found; however, discover that question is moot as shall have no one to watch the kids Sunday night. The School can, nevertheless, rest assured that I shall not allow 7-year-old daughter internet access, cell phones, or video games - all this without being shouted at and told horror stories about how Bruchie got a Cell Phone, then a Boyfriend, and then Went Off the Derech and Now Lives Under a Bridge and Does Drugs (or was that a song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers?) Perhaps such stories more Effective if told in darkened room with flashlight held under speaker's face? And we could light a fire and toast some Marshmallows?

In other news, have moved into new apartment on 5th floor a week before Pesach; having entire kitchen uncovered throughout Pesach was oddly satisfactory. Still not completely unpacked, and, last week, I horrified Husband by referring to our Second Bedroom as the Storage Room. Process of unpacking Books and Clothes (not that they were packed, exactly, but that discussion far too Embarassing to be undertaken publicly) equally fascinating, as both pursuits turn up Items I had lost all awareness of owning. This especially nice, since live in constant Fear of becoming like the man in Candide who had read everything worth reading and lost all interest in Life.